Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Outdoor Etiquette

I survived the great outdoors. I plan on providing a full account soon, but in the meantime I will share with you some of the “unwritten” rules of camping that I learned on my trip.

-While one of the pleasures in camping for a man is to pee in the great outdoors, apparently (according to the manager that yelled at me) the Walmart parking lot is not considered to be part of the great outdoors.

-Forcibly propelling one’s elbow into the gut of another in order to secure the last marshmallow is considered gauche, especially if you have wandered into a stranger’s campsite.

-It seems scaring one’s fellow campers with that creeping story of the guy with the hook is acceptable behavior; yet getting revenge on the guy that creeped you out with that story by putting a scorpion in his hiking boots is inexplicably considered inappropriate.

-Dragging the guy sunbathing in the Speedo towards the lake while yelling, “Help! He’s beached, and can’t breathe!” is a form of humor that will go largely unappreciated. And yet, somehow, receiving a bathing-suit-net wedgie from an angry Speedo wearer is guaranteed to illicit laughter from the entire beach.

Go figure.

Just my thoughts,



Anonymous said...

Hmmm, good observations. Things to truely take note of. I've discovered a few more in my couple years of camping:

- All food tastes better when you're camping, even if it's a Taco Bell buriito on a stick.

- There is no "dusk" in camping. It's either too dark to see anything (IE: when trying to sneek out to use the bathroom at midnight), or too bright to sleep (IE: 6am sunrises).

- No one else will hear the crow/ bear/ chipmunk that kept you awake all night.

- Despite what other might say, Motel 6 IS "roughing it".


Anonymous said...

For Sean the brave and apparently fearless,

Only near LA would someone wear a Speedo at the lake while camping. That alone has to be breaking a rule protecting the sanctity of the great outdoors.

Did you spit roast or pan fry your Spam?


Gaffney said...

Ben -- I will add your wisdom to my camping rules. Very practical and insightful.

Sarah -- alas, no Spam on this trip. And now I'm craving the stuff!