Thankful for: Her

Thankful For: Random Reminders of Family

Ain't She Sweet?

15 and going strong...

March Hare Madness

Some of my family members (I’m talking about you, Lance) have an annual competition surrounding March Madness.

March Madness, as I learned after losing horribly in the past, has nothing to do with Alice in Wonderland.  (I put as the final four the March Hare, Mad Hatter, Knave of Hearts – as my wild card – and, of course, Tweedle Dee, as Tweedle Dum never stood a chance.)

This year though, I am ready to use my Hollywood experience to accurately predict the games. The poor fools I’m related to won’t know what hit them, as they waste their time utilizing knowledge of things like basketball and colleges.

Me, I’ve got killer skillz in the insight arena.

For example, I pick George Mason to go into the third week.

Why? Because Perry Mason couldn’t lose; I figure his brother George has to have some of that gumption.

UNC makes it just as long because UNC is short for UNCLE, as in THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.  And they’ve got all kinds of spy gadgets and guns, which I’m pretty sure will over power any musket that Washington might be packing.

Duke makes it to the final four because I’m not telling John Wayne he can’t make it to the Final Four.

Xavier makes it to the Elite Eight because of all his mind control powers. And having a wheel chair on the court will give him an element of surprise.

Kentucky makes it to the Final Four because, well, have you seen JUSTIFIED?

BYU makes it to the Sweet Sixteen just because I thought it was nice of them to bring their own.

Kansas gets knocked out in the Elite Eight because we all are itching to say, “Well, Toto, it’s not going to be Kansas anymore.”

It has been suggested that I rely more on “stats.” 

Well, the word “stat” was used on ER a lot, and ER ran for an impressive fifteen seasons, and UCLA has a better television major than many of the others in the SE division, so UCLA makes it to the Final Four.

With that kind of thinking, I just know Notre Dame will go all the way this year and win the Stanley Cup!

See? With my insider knowledge, I can’t lose!

Just my thoughts,

Sean

Year In Review: 2010

We recently uncovered a listing of television shows scheduled to arrive in 2010 – and thought it would be fun to look back and see which shows were hits and misses. 

Thanks to Entertainment Yearly and Gaffney Guide for these descriptions. 

Programming Scheduled in 2010:

THE GUESTROOM  Drama; Friday nights.  An anthology series with a rotating cast of guest stars as they find love, adventure, magic, and cat fur while visiting Sean, Cath, and River.  Famous guest stars include:  Isaac, Beth, Niffer, David & Ann, Irene, Faith & Sarah, Bethanie, Lauren & Scott, Wayne & Jean, Wayne & Pat, Luke and Felicia. 

THE BOWL  Culture; Sundays on PBS.  Exciting adventures as Sean and Cath introduce their parents to the wonders of the Hollywood Bowl.  Spring special focuses on Wayne and Jean attending the Bel Air Pres Easter Service at the bowl, followed shortly with an earthquake.  The Summer special finds Wayne and Pat watching the antics of Bugs Bunny and company as the symphony plays along.

MUSICAL MYSTERY  Suspense; Thursdays.  Detectives Sean and Catherine are on the trail of the missing musical, tracking the slippery song and dance shows throughout the country.  They nearly catch “Guys and Dolls” at a living room read event at Janet and Lee’s (all attendees sit in a circle and pop up to read/sing their parts); they corner “In the Heights” at Pantages; race against “A Walk in the Woods” with Dean and Beth in a Noho theater; then sprint up the coast to catch “Man of La Mancha” red handed at Taproot in Seattle. 

THE AMAZING, WELL WE’LL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE, RACE  Reality, Mondays.   Sean and Catherine race (well, mosey) to various locations around the country for prizes (or vacation and business).  They visit Cayucos over a long weekend, and buy seasalt cookies.  Air Force jets buzz by Sean as he watches Isaac’s graduation in CO.  Cath drags Sean for a business trip in Red Rock outside Vegas for a dance conference (special guests Shon, Jodi and Chantal).  Sean faces freezing weather to venture out alone to Nashville to work on a book pitch (no news on the book pitch until 2011). Reality series already renewed for April 2011 trip to Australia and Tasmania.

ENTERTAINMENT THIS AFTERNOON  News, daily.  In depth coverage of the entertainment going-ons of Sean and Cath.  Show includes links to Cath’s breakout series BETTY AND DD (www.bettyanddd.com), her performance in THE KILLERS, and to Sean’s occasional badd videos (www.belairdrama.com).  Coverage also on Cath’s new headshots (www.catherinegaffney.net … yes, that is grey hair!), and audition travails, including exclusive coverage of Catherine signing with a new manager and being sent out to network auditions.

THE VEGAS THANKSGIVING  Comedy; Holiday Special.  After following the directions from a discount GPS machine that Sean buys, a group of friends are forced to spend Thanksgiving in Las Vegas instead of their intended destination of Vermont.  The gang endures comical trials, including viewing a Bill Cosby show, attending a Cirque d’ Soleil event, shopping at the Forum, eating at the Bellagio buffett and shouting AMEN at the gospel brunch at the House of Blues, until finally Mark wins enough poker money to buy them all bus tickets home.  Cast includes:  Joel, Mark, Nicole, Shon, Jodi, Ray, Karen, Bob, Anne, Beth, Sean and Catherine.  (NOTE:  This special received such high ratings that the network is already planning a sequel.)

A VERY REOHR NEW YEAR  Comedy; Wednesdays.  The whacky antics of Trey, Abby, Katie, Paige, Dick and Mary as they ring in the New Year with special guest stars Uncle Cath and Uncle Funny.  Plot to be determined. 

Thumbs up for a great year.  Stay tuned on Facebook, Twitter (cathgaff), Skype (seancath), email, text, phone, or sky writing for a brand new season of wacky Gaffney programming in 3D (no glasses required). 

Armistice

Brain Rules for Baby

A very interesting listen, from the brain of John Medina.

Betty & DD Extras

Poor Liz. Poor mail box. Poor dog.

August 3rd - That Makes 14 and Counting...

Montana

Proverbs 17:17

This weekend I volunteered at a fundraiser carnival.  One of my jobs was as the bouncy house bouncer.

In clubs, bouncers are big guys with bald heads.  At bouncy houses, bouncers are guys with big bald spots.

Anywho, my job was to tell the kids to stop pushing, punching or jumping on top of each other.

Two kids ignored me when I yelled, “No pushing!”  I had to point them out and yell again, “NO PUSHING!”

The kids looked at me incredulous, not believing I could be referring to them.

“But…” one began, trying to figure out how to make me understand.

“But… but we’re brothers!”

Ah, I understood.

Just my thoughts,

Sean

Will You Take This Man?

"Eh, why not?"

The Games Are Afoot

Tripoly. Miles Bourne. Quelf. Taboo. Phase Ten. Apples to Apples. Ping Pong tournament (Team Motrichell rules!).

Even with a day of the icks, still a great Oregon vacation.

Merry pre-Christmas to me!

Just my thoughts,

Sean

Southern Churchpatality - Part 2

For Part One go here.

Now that the issue of my sister-in-law’s health (Say-rah, bless her heart) had been settled, Catherine and I thought we were done.

But this being the South, and politeness being key, we needed a chance to feel included.

“WOULD Y’ALL LIKE TO JOIN US AND SING IN THE CHOIR THIS MORNING?”

I made the mistake of laughing, as I assumed she was joking.

You see, choirs wear robes, and rehearse – typically on Thursday nights. (The Thursday night rehearsal is a time-honored tradition, started ages ago by pastors trying to get their congregants to stop watching FRIENDS.)

As I didn’t have a robe, and didn’t rehearse, well, she must have been joking, right?

“ARE Y’ALL SURE? THERE’S PLENTY OF ROOM UP THERE.”

She nodded to the choir loft, off to the right of the pulpit.

We knew it was the choir “loft” even though it didn’t “loft” – it was a flat area. But it had chairs facing sideways, and was partially obscured by on old non-pipe organ; hence it qualified as “loft.”

Knowing full well that they couldn’t possibly use the number of seats in the loft as their only audition requirement, we declined a second time.

That’s when I caught sight of my brother, behind the altar doing whatever it is that pastor interns do before Southern protestant services (my guess, changing the wine back into grape juice through a holy process called “trans-sub-standardization”).

He was smiling a “just you wait and see smile.”

Which we understood after the service got underway.

There were less than twenty congregants total, scattered throughout the church.

No one, however, was in the choir loft.

No one, that is, until the pastor made the announcement,

“And now, our choir will gift us with a few hymns.”

At which point every person in the church, aside from my wife and me, stood up, walked to the choir loft and took a seat.

Every. Single. Person.

Once they all settled into their seats, the choir director turned and addressed the audience (both of us) with an “Our first hymn will be number 23.”

The choir flipped through their hymn books, giving away their lack of rehearsal with exclamations like:

“Oh, an oldie but goodie.”

And

“I don’t think I know this one.”

Okay. So this is a group with their Thursday nights free.

Cath and I did a pretty good job at keeping a straight face at the oddity of the situation.

Luke, up in the choir loft, didn’t even try; he laughed and praised, especially after the choir director invited the congregation to sing along with the choir on the second chorus of #76, "Leaning On the Everlasting Arms."

Both of us obliged.

When they finished struggling and sight-reading their way through four hymns – including the special music selection of #276 "Oh Happy Day" in honor of the pianist’s birthday – they all got up and found their way back to their scattered seats, no longer the choir, just congregants.

Like all the rest of us.

Just my thoughts,

Sean

Southern Churchpatality

Over at Stuff Christians Like, Jon is talking about choirs.

Which puts me in mind of a choir Cath and I encountered in Georgia.

We were visiting my brother, Luke (pre-USMC days). He was interning with the Pastor of three (or was it four) rural churches.

Sarah (Say-ruh, as the congregants would say) stayed home that Sunday, feeling under the weather. But Cath and I showed up to support baby bro.

Now, I find visiting churches to always be awkward affairs.

There’s always the fear that of making the faux pas – singing the verse designated by tradition as “women only,” or kneeling when everyone else stands, or going for the hug during the passing of the peace when by “peace” they mean “manly handshake.”

So the game plan for my lovely wife and I was to hang out in the back, mix in with the crowd, and be invisible.

That was the plan. Blend in. Be invisible.

Right.

When we first stepped into the sanctuary (“sanctuary” – isn’t that supposed to mean “safe refuge?”), our invisibility cloaks failed as we were called out by the eighty-year old greeter.

Not so odd, as most churches have greeters, and they are usually older. Where do you think they train for Wal-Mart?

But usually the greeter is at the door.

Here the greeter was at the front of the church. We were at the door in the back.

And the conversation reverberated in between, bouncing off the two or three other people that were there.

“WELL, HOWDY Y’ALL!”

“Uh, hello.”

“Y’ALL MUST BE LUKE’S FAMILY. WELCOME!”

“Uh, thanks.”

“WHERE’S SAY-RUH?”

“Oh, she’s not feeling well.”

“BLESS HER HEART, POOR THING.”

Fortunately we were interrupted by another congregant entering behind us.

Did I say fortunately? I need to get me a dictionary.

This lady had about ten years on the greeter, which manifested itself in greater hearing loss.

“Well, hello, and who do we have here?”

“THAT’S LUKE’S FAMILY.”

The greeter apparently felt it part of her duties to introduce us.

She didn’t feel it part of her duties to move any closer to us or the door.

I think maybe she was guarding her favorite pew spot.

“WHO?”

“LUKE! LUKE! LAAA-UUUUKE!”

“THIS ISN’T LUKE!”

“Hi, I’m Luke’s brother.”

“WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO?”

I didn’t answer, as the question wasn’t addressed to me.

“I DID. TURN UP YOUR HEARING AID!”

“WHERE’S SAY-RUH?”

Again, not addressed to me.

“SHE’S NOT FEELING WELL.”

“NOT FEELING WELL? BLESS HER HEART. IS SHE HURLING?

“I DON’T KNOW. IS SHE HURLING?”

That was addressed to me. What’s the protocol for discussing the internal going’s on of one’s sister-in-law-intern-patstor’s-wife?

“Uh…

“MAYBE IT’S COMING OUT THE OTHER SIDE. ASK IF IT’S THE OTHER SIDE.”

Mind you, the woman asking the greeter if it’s “the other side” is standing next to me.

And that the greeter who is about to ask me if it’s “the other side” is standing on the farther end of the sanctuary.

And that sanctuary does not in any way connote “safe refuge.”

“BLESS HER HEART. IS IT THE OTHER SIDE?”

The only positive I could think of that kept me from feeling total humiliation was that only a dozen people were in the church at the time; so at least this conversation wasn’t broadcast to the entire congregation.

That was before I learned that the entire congregation totaled – you guessed it – a dozen people.

To be continued…

Just my thoughts,

Sean

Welcome

13 Years And Counting ...

If anyone doubted that we are two silly people ... below is our wedding invitation.

Yes, we had a cartoon as our invitation. I mean, really, what could be more fitting?



Thanks again to Sam Vance for the perfect drawing.

Thank you to all of you who witnessed our vows 13 years ago.

Thank you to our friends who've met us since (even those who had no idea Cath had such big hair, or Sean ever had a goatee!).

Thank you to our parents who trusted us into the Lord's hands.

And thanks most of all, to the Lord, who guided us to each other, and continues to bless our lives exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or seek.

To my best friend : I love you!

America

Who Made the Turtles

Favorite quote of the day: When my niece was asked,

"Who made the turtles?"

She answered,

"I made the turtles. God was nervous about making turtles so I helped Him."

I can see how making turtles would be tricky, so I'm glad He got some help.

Just my thoughts,

Sean