Thursday, April 24, 2008

Odyssey in Ulysses Part Five: Penelope, Or: Hey, Lady, Take a Breath Already!

The good news: I am eight sentences away from finally finishing ULYSSES.

The bad news: the first sentence contains 2,500 words. And that's the short one.

Oh, and no punctuation within those sentences.

My teachers always rebuked me for run-on sentences.

I now imagine myself being confronted by Miss Peterson.

“That is a run on sentence,” she would accuse, stabbing a finger at my paper.

“Well, read this!” I would rejoin, stabbing a finger at episode eighteen.

Then the other kids and I would go out and play. We would return a day and half later, to find her just finishing the sentence.

“Well,” she would say, somewhat ruffled. “When you are as famous as James Joyce, I will give you a better grade!”

And I would take my paper back, secure in the knowledge that a day and a half on the playground was worth the B minus.

Just my thoughts,



Anonymous said...

Who is Miss Peterson?

Gaffney said...

Was it Peters? 6th grade, hand through the hair, "Now, people!" Duct taped Ziegler to a garbage can. Blanking on her name...